The First Book of Giftees Called


In the beginning, great Daddee Ay created the Giftee centres of education.

Lo! And in the days before the great Giftees at En Es Yoo, the great Daddee Ay did proclaim, “Let there be Giftees at En Es Yoo!” And there was, and it was good.

And the tiny hamlet of Natch-hell, before almost barren of Giftees, did rejoice, for the Giftees meant more business at Bee-Kay and Mickey Dee’s, and the banks, and 7-11s, and Wal-Marts, and the vending machines, and it was known, even then, that more business meant more bucks. Praise Daddee Ay! And the people of Natch-hell did offer many beer cans of praise to the Giftees.

And so the first wave of Giftees came to the promised land. HelLSMSA, and they, too, did rejoice, for they had freedom from parents, and freedom from dorm security. And in those golden years, they did break out of their dorms in great droves, for the administration did expect them to be angelic, which they were not.

And then the great Daddee Ay did leave, for En Es Yoo had need of his guidance, and he did leave HelLSMSA in the capable strong hands of his chosen four.

But it came to the great Daddee Ay’s attention that the Giftees were being cast forthright into an angry sea of large universities, where they were able to take on even the toughest calculus, and genetics, and obscure poets, and drama, and Bach. But these universities were out-of-state, and lo! The Giftees never came back to great Daddee Ay’s promised land, Lou-zee-anna.

And lo! Did great Daddee Ay proclaim, “Let there be more giftees at En Es Yoo. And let us call them Scholars, and give them their own college, and keep them in-state!”

And because great Daddee Ay had spoken, it was so, and it was good.

And from HelLSMSA, the great leprechaun Grady W. O’Ballenger, English professor extrordinaire, did come to teach at the new Giftee college, and it was good, except for HelLSMSA, who did scream and holler and proclaim, “We want the great leprechaun back!!”

Also brought forth from HelLSMSA was the great Guru of Counseling, the Counseling God Barker, who was everywhere anyway. And the HelLSMSA Giftees did scream and proclaim, “We want God Barker back!!”

But the great Daddee Ay did ignore the cries of the HelLSMSA Giftees, and they did survive, for they had others.

And lo! The great leprechaun of core seminar was appointed director of the Scholee College, and this was good.

And the students of the Scholee College were happy, for they did not have to sneak out of their dorms, and their education did continue, and it was good, especially since it was in-state.

But HelLSMSA got worse, as the chosen few got more tyrannical, but the education did continue, at least, and it was good.

And the Scholee College developed odd education techniques and included math-science courses taught by philosophers, and it was mostly good.

I speak to you of the golden age, when the Giftees and Scholars first came to Natch-hell.

Note: I did not write this, but found it in many old documents on a hard drive.

Hg, 20170114