Bonnie's Last Writings

This was taken from GrandMother Remembers, a memory book. She must have been working on it those last few months of her life. –Hanna

Today is November 13, 1990. It is my 42nd birthday. It is my last birthday. In April, 1990, I was told I have terminal cancer and approximately 6 months to a year to live. Well, the six month mark has passed. I still feel pretty good, considering everything, but can also tell that the time is coming closer. I am writing the above, not for sympathy, but as a fact. Actually, I am one of the lucky people. Most people die without warning and are not prepared. At least I was given the wonderful privilege to prepare myself and put my life in order. For that I am extremely grateful. My life has been good. I’ve had a really wonderful and good husband in Clyde and Loyd has been precious. I really miss him while he is away at college but his education is the most important thing right now. We are so proud of him. I’ve been working on painting a ceramic Indian Nativity Set. It sure looks cute. Maybe it’s not the best painting I’ve done but it is one of my more enjoyable projects. If anyone has told you anything about me at all, I hope they told you about the craft work I did. Some of it was good. Some of it was real good. And a lot of it didn’t turn out so well, but was fun trying it anyway. Don’t ever let someone say you can’t do something because you’ll never know until you try. You might fail, but so what, at least you tried which is more than a lot of people will do.

11/26/90 Thanksgiving has come & gone. Although we didn’t do anything or go anywhere, we had a lot to be thankful for. My brother, Richard, called and I also got to talk to my other brother, Russell, and Mom & Dad. Loyd also called and it was good to hear from him. It’s been about a week since I’ve been able to hold any food down. Mostly I have just had water and cool-aid. Time is growing short but I feel ready. Clyde has been so good lately - as he always has. He’s been doing dishes, making his meals and even ironed a shirt last night. He bought me a beautiful poinsettia plant over the weekend and a 1990 Christmas ornament. I’ll miss him but I feel he’ll be ok. There is a song that reminds me so much of Clyde. It’s called “Wind Beneath My Wings”. Part of it goes life this:

Did you even know you were my hero?
And everything I wished I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
With you as the wind beneath my wings.\

And that’s how I’ve always felt about Clyde. I love him so much. I could never have been or done anything if he hadn’t been there for me and for Loyd. Clyde is my hero, Life has been good. God has really blessed me. I only hope you are so blessed.

This is one of the very few times you will see my d 𝖾 a d n a m 𝖾.